I am having a terrible night, my thoughts are not what they were in the morning. I was hoping to kill paranoia with sleep like I have been doing when this happens over the last two years, but I can’t calm down enough to fall asleep.
Like I have described in one of my previous blogs it’s notably wacky because the theories change and conflict with each other but seem very real at the time they happen and are very loud in my head.
Once the thoughts start repeatedly conflicting I start trying to dismiss them, but it is very difficult to blot out the noise.
I am lucky that I can at least identify it as a thought disorder, some are not so lucky and become slaves to their paranoia. That has happened to me in the past but not since I started with the injections.
The most dominant theme is that I am feeling increasingly watched or observed in some way. It’s making me anxious so I can’t sleep.