I am afraid to be overly spiritual. Worry I might fall into a bad group. Also there is my teenage atheist self that is critical like a soviet of the whole idea, but I am starting to see that many things spiritual people do are wise, also it is good for ones mind to have gods to turn to when in extreme distress as I have found out when I am in my worst moods, I usually retreat to a spiritual narrative. This blog is definitely losing coherence, hehe, I’ll try and not rewrite it again and delete it.