Darkest Paranoia Lately

I feel like Calgary is actually a “humane” extermination facility made by the Nazi administration, humane because we still have some minor property but ultimately are doomed to being weeded out from the gene-pool, also humane because the fake media we are being fed makes us think people can be good and the Nazis lost (I often think this). I cite the mass genocides as evidence that homo-sapiens are in fact an evil species capable of such things, also the Calgary Tower is a smokestack (in the style of the extermination camps) with a pretty thingy on top of it, it is the representation of victory over the so called “untermenschen”.

Having said something like this, I’d like to reaffirm it is just a “crazy” thought and I am not confident about it. People are fairly nice to me, but under Marxist analysis I am nothing but a slave with fancy pieces of paper and now numbers in a computer, since the “masters” have the ability to print money and I don’t, or barely any democratic mechanism in how I have access to the way the world works. I am below the poverty line for fuck sakes, why would I want to have children if they are just going to wind up poor like me?!?!? Hence, humane extermination facility.

I Think I’m Special

Not sure that is a good thing. But when I hear “go to hell” I tend to fantasize about going to war against the forces of Satan. It’s kinda a smart-ass response. But honestly, who doesn’t want to wage war against the forces of evil? I mean, they be laying the hate on my cute humans, so I gotta go to hell to kill em all. (Honestly, I doubt I’d wind up there, I am super nice).

#inspiredbyvideogames

Ásatrú

l also like that being a soldier or warrior is not shamed but glorified. Personally I don’t want to be shamed for fighting to protect who I love. It may be over-glorified to be fair, but if you are wise you can find a balance I am sure.

Ancient Iceland

Being politically pragmatic and anti dogmatic (with a seriously left outlook) I liked the anti power monopoly of the ancient Icelanders. Great Empires fall harder you know? I mean I have written about this before, I think the benefits outweigh the downsides of not being in a “great” or big empire. This is somewhat Marxist since it is about potentially creating strong local communities.

I Am Not Trying To Convert You

Having said that, my mind seems to prefer Pantheons to Monotheistic Gods. I feel like in a religion like Asatru, there is more to relate to, and I find that important. Also it is less totalitarian a regime by far than in a Abrahamic setting. The Gods are flawed in Asatru and therefore have more to teach about living in the real world as opposed to being obsessed with the afterlife. I still prefer Christian morals ideally though. It has become an internal struggle. I also like that you can be related to gods, it’s pretty neat. I feel like there is also more dialogue and openness to normal people being able to be alongside the gods, such as with the Einherjar who can fight during Ragnarok alongside the Gods. I childishly like to pretend that I could be a god in this Pantheon, which in Abrahamic faiths is blasphemy, and I am saddened and worried that being myself would be considered a crime.

My Child Self

I unironically prayed many a night for my loved ones before I was about nine years old, that’s when I learned about the Spanish inquisition. I honestly miss the sincere praying, my prayers are no longer known to be heard like back then.

The Spanish inquisition taught me that there are those in Catholicism and Christianity that just use religion to exploit, they have nothing to do with the faith. And so I lost my faith.

Not long after I was introduced to the concept of explaining all of creation with science, which had an appeal. But I eventually realized that humans are probably (in our current form at least) neither capable or intelligent enough to truly KNOW such a thing. So hence agnosticism has been my spiritual outlook for most of my adult life. And honestly, for now at least, I think being able to believe that there is more to reality, and that the magic of creation is indeed magical, than no meaning whatsoever is an extremely important thing for human psychology. We need meaning.