Has been lifting my spirits to new heights. 🙂 🙂 🙂
I feel like it is too dangerous to give me any kind of real stage so that I can be a part of mass media collage.
What if I have a breakdown? Also I am pretty much a real life madman.
It’s a stupid situation since I do want to be successful, admittedly everything I create might just be unappealing as well. In any case I poured my heart into my writing and photography and I haven’t really gotten any response from outside my circles.
It’s becoming difficult to create anything, since it seems to be a dead end as a financial aspiration. If I were to just do therapeutic art I’d probably just sketch at this point, in fact, I think I’ll do that after I publish this.
I don’t want to live just to fight to see the next day anymore, when I am so tired.
I’ll hang on for those that love me though. I admit that is hardly a healthy mental state, I’ll continue drugging myself with caffeine, that does lift my spirits.
I’m allowed to be sad.
In this world everything is a battle of sorts, let us all feast with the gods.
Everything humans do for work is art! Ok, maybe the trashcan is just a trashcan.
Do what works! Don’t pose ideologically! Lean to the left, lean towards compassion within the realm of reason!
I feel like Calgary is actually a “humane” extermination facility made by the Nazi administration, humane because we still have some minor property but ultimately are doomed to being weeded out from the gene-pool, also humane because the fake media we are being fed makes us think people can be good and the Nazis lost (I often think this). I cite the mass genocides as evidence that homo-sapiens are in fact an evil species capable of such things, also the Calgary Tower is a smokestack (in the style of the extermination camps) with a pretty thingy on top of it, it is the representation of victory over the so called “untermenschen”.
Having said something like this, I’d like to reaffirm it is just a “crazy” thought and I am not confident about it. People are fairly nice to me, but under Marxist analysis I am nothing but a slave with fancy pieces of paper and now numbers in a computer, since the “masters” have the ability to print money and I don’t, or barely any democratic mechanism in how I have access to the way the world works. I am below the poverty line for fuck sakes, why would I want to have children if they are just going to wind up poor like me?!?!? Hence, humane extermination facility.
Read it, it is disturbing.
I am just going to print out a copy for myself for now as a fancy photo portfolio business card, due to the nature of my journal. If you want a copy please feel free to contact me.
That is all.
Not sure that is a good thing. But when I hear “go to hell” I tend to fantasize about going to war against the forces of Satan. It’s kinda a smart-ass response. But honestly, who doesn’t want to wage war against the forces of evil? I mean, they be laying the hate on my cute humans, so I gotta go to hell to kill em all. (Honestly, I doubt I’d wind up there, I am super nice).